Thursday 2 August 2018

When a Woman's husband passes away


When a Woman’s Husband Passes Away – Points of Benefit

وَالَّذِينَ يُتَوَفَّوْنَ مِنكُمْ وَيَذَرُونَ أَزْوَاجًا يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍ وَعَشْرًا ۖ فَإِذَا بَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا فَعَلْنَ فِي أَنفُسِهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌ (234) وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُم بِهِ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ النِّسَاءِ أَوْ أَكْنَنتُمْ فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ ۚ عَلِمَ اللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ وَلَٰكِن لَّا تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلَّا أَن تَقُولُوا قَوْلًا مَّعْرُوفًا ۚ وَلَا تَعْزِمُوا عُقْدَةَ النِّكَاحِ حَتَّىٰ يَبْلُغَ الْكِتَابُ أَجَلَهُ ۚ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُ ۚ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ

234. And those of you who die and leave wives behind them, they (the wives) shall wait (as regards their marriage) for four months and ten days, then when they have fulfilled their term, there is no sin on you if they (the wives) dispose of themselves in a just and honourable manner (i.e. they can marry). And Allah is Well-Acquainted with what you do.

235. And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal or conceal it in yourself, Allah knows that you will remember them, but do not make a promise of contract with them in secret except that you speak an honourable saying according to the Islamic law (e.g. you can say to her, "If one finds a wife like you, he will be happy"). And do not consummate the marriage until the term prescribed is fulfilled. And know that Allah knows what is in your minds, so fear Him. And know that Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Forbearing. [Suratul Baqarah 2:234-235]

Umm 'Atiyyah narrated: The Prophet () said, "It is not lawful for a lady who believes in Allah and the Last Day, to mourn for more than three days for a dead person, except for her husband, in which case she should neither put kohl in her eyes, nor perfume herself, nor wear dyed clothes, except a garment of 'Asb" Saheeh al Bukhari 5342.

العِدَّة al ‘iddah comes from the root word ع دد meaning ‘to count’.

A woman who loses her husband is referred to as a ‘widow’ in English and الأرملة (al armalah) in Arabic. She’s also referred to as المعتدة mu’tadah while she is in her ‘iddah. The time period is also referred to as الحداد  al Hidaad – mourning.

Length of the ‘Iddah: 4 months and 10 days [2:234] or until a pregnant woman gives birth [65:4].

Ruling of the ‘Iddah: Waajib Obligatory

Where: The house of her husband (unless there is a valid reason to stay somewhere else).

The Wisdom behind the ‘Iddah (Waiting Period for the Widow)

The greatest aim of the ‘iddah is a preservation of the husband’s right - separate to knowing whether the widow is expecting or not. Due to this the ‘iddah is counted in months and it is obligatory upon the one who did not have marital relations. This is an act of worship preserving the husband’s right. It is also a manifestation of losing him.

Shaykh Bin Baz answered a question saying:

The ‘Iddah waiting period is a time period that Allaah has legislated after divorce and after the death of a husband due to wisdom and for many reasons - not only to ensure the womb is empty. One reason is to ensure the womb is empty so as not to mix up the fluids in the womb and confuse the lineage. Another reason is to respect the deceased and that a sacredness for him remains in the self of the wife. It is a protection for her from looking at (other) men straight after his death. …..Al ‘Allaamah Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله indicated other reasons and wisdom of the ‘iddah in his book ‘Ilaam al Muwaqqi’een as did many others from Ahlul ‘Ilm.

In another answer he stated:

Allaah legislated the ‘iddah for many benefits:
1.       One of them is the effect of the husband’s departure.
2.       There is a gap until the next husband. This is from the deceased husband’s right and the sacredness of his marriage. This is to protect the husband that he does not have a child ascribed to him that does not belong to him.


What is a Woman in her ‘Iddah allowed to do after the death of her husband?[1]


Allowed
Examples for Allowed acts
Not Allowed
1
Any colour clothing as long as it is not considered beautiful.

Beautiful attractive clothing.
2
Using perfume upon finishing her menses.

Perfume or incense
3
A watch for telling the time and not a watch as jewellery

jewellery
4
To go out in the day time for a need or an emergency.
-If no one to go shopping for her.
-If she needs to go to the doctor’s.
-If she is working and needs to complete her contract.
-If she needs to go to the bank or courts to sort out paperwork.
To go out in the day or night without a need.
5
To go out at night in an emergency.

To visit family and friends
6
To attend her husband’s funeral

Weddings, family gatherings
7
To have a bath, use soap

To visit the sick including her own son unless she becomes so worried she visits to alleviate her worries.
8
change her clothes

To attend the ‘Eid prayer.
9
Cut nails and hair

To go on ‘Umrah or Hajj
10
To go out in her yard or on her roof.

Taraaweeh
11
To talk on the phone

Use henna
12
To talk to men for a need

Use kohl
13
Housework, cook, clean

Not allowed to get engaged or get married



Superstitions or traditions not based upon the Qur’aan and Sunnah and are not correct:

1.       Must wear black only.
2.       Cannot speak to men on the phone.
3.       Cannot go out even for a need.
4.       Cannot walk barefoot.
5.       Cannot go outside in the moonlight.
6.       Cannot have a bath more than once a week.
7.       Not allowed to do household chores.

Imaam ibnul Qayyim said[2]:

“This (the widow’s mourning over her late husband) indicates the perfection and wisdom of the Islamic Shari’ah (Islamic Law) and how it thoroughly looks after the interests of Muslims. Mourning the deceased signifies the big disaster of death which people used to exaggerate excessively during the Pre-Islamic Period of Ignorance (the Jahiliyyah). During such days, the widow used to stay in the worst and smallest house, without touching perfumes, applying oil to her body, taking a bath or suchlike acts that indicate dissatisfaction with the Divine Predestination. Out of His mercy, Allaah, Exalted be He, has nullified this way of mourning observed by the people of the Pre-Islamic Period of Ignorance (the Jahiliyyah), and substituted patience, thankfulness, and turning back to Allaah by saying ‘Indeed, we belong to Allaah and indeed to Him we will return.’ Since the disaster of death naturally causes pain and sadness to the people of the deceased, Allaah, the Wise, the Acquainted, allows them (the relatives other than the wife) to show only a few signs of mourning, that last for three days only in order to provide them with comfort and release their sadness. So mourning is prohibited after these three days as it is considered a prospective evil. What is meant here is that Allaah permits women to mourn over their deceased, other than the husband, for three days. However, mourning over the husband is related to the waiting period as it is considered of its necessities and complementary practices.”

“A woman needs to adorn herself to be lovely for her husband. When he dies and she is still in her waiting period and cannot be the wife of another man, she must be prevented from doing what a woman does for her husband, in order to observe the right of the deceased husband by preventing herself from another man until the decreed waiting period ends. This also helps block the means to desire men or be desired by men if she adorns herself.”

Sources

The Noble Qur’aan
www.Sunnah.com
Shaykh Bin Baz
Shaykh Fawzaan Mulakhas al Fiqhi

المرأه التي في الحداد هل تصلي التراويح في المسجد ؟ الشيخ صالح الفوزان

محمد بن عثيمين حكم خروج المعتدة من وفاة للمحكمة أو للمستشفى لزيارة ابنها المريض

هل يجوز للمرأة أن تصلي على زوجها الميت في المسجد للشيخ صالح بن فوزان الفوزان

أحكام الحداد على الزوج - الشيخ ابن عثيمين

هل يجوز للمرأة المتوفى زوجها أن تخرج من بيتها أثناء العده- الشيخ صالح الفوزان

Fatwa in English regarding the Mourning period

Shaykh ‘Uthaymeen’s benefits based on the aayah 2:234 https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxqJaAIyTnkoMkFDaHNVdGpQWW8/view?usp=sharing

حكم خروج المحادة من بيتها لغير ضرورة




[1] Compiled by Umm ‘AbdirRahmaan Tara Hashim 1439/2018.  Www.salafitranslatedbenefits.blogspot.com
[2] (quoted by Shaykh Fawzaan in his Mulakhas al Fiqhi p472-3 of the English translation)