The Rights of the Elderly - Selected Points
and Ahaadeeth[1]
Taken from Shaykh ‘AbdurRazzaaq bin ‘AbdulMuhsin al Badr’s
Book: حقوق كبار السن في الإسلام
Click here to download the file.
Whether the elderly person is your Father, relative,
neighbour, Muslim or non-Muslim, the elderly person has rights which come in
the legislation which is there to preserve, take care of and implement these
rights.
Some people have more than one right:
v
The right of being a
relative and the rights of the elderly
v
The right of being a neighbour
and the rights of the elderly
v
The right of being a Muslim
and the rights of the elderly
v
The right of being a Father/
Grandfather and the rights of the elderly (these rights are greater)
v
A non-Muslim still has the
rights of the elderly
What should we know about these rights:
1.
Awareness of what the rights
of the elderly are.
2.
Seek Allaah’s help to
fulfil those rights over the elderly.
3.
Remember the rewards in
fulfilling their rights and take care of the weak, your relatives – it will be
an increase in provision, blessing and will save you from trials.[2]
4.
The reward of good treatment
is good treatment.
هَلْ جَزَاءُ الْإِحْسَانِ إِلَّا الْإِحْسَانُ
Is
there any reward for good other than good?
[Soorah
arRahmaan 55:60]
ثُمَّ كَانَ عَاقِبَةَ الَّذِينَ أَسَاءُوا السُّوأَىٰ
Then
evil was the end of those who did evil,
[Room
30:10]
5.
Look at how the Salaf were
with the elderly.
Ibn Umar رضي الله عنه reported that Allah's
Messenger (ﷺ) one day said to his
Companions:
Tell me about a tree which has resemblance with a believer.
The people began to mention (different) trees of the forest. Ibn 'Umar said: It
was instilled in my mind or in my heart and it stuck therein that it implied
the date- palm tree. I made up my mind to make a mention of that but could not
do that because of the presence of the elderly people there. When there was a
hush amongst them (after they had expressed their views), Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said: It is the date-palm tree.
عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ
صلى الله عليه وسلم يَوْمًا لأَصْحَابِهِ " أَخْبِرُونِي عَنْ شَجَرَةٍ مَثَلُهَا
مَثَلُ الْمُؤْمِنِ " . فَجَعَلَ الْقَوْمُ يَذْكُرُونَ شَجَرًا مِنْ شَجَرِ
الْبَوَادِي . قَالَ ابْنُ عُمَرَ وَأُلْقِيَ فِي نَفْسِي أَوْ رُوعِيَ أَنَّهَا
النَّخْلَةُ فَجَعَلْتُ أُرِيدُ أَنْ أَقُولَهَا فَإِذَا أَسْنَانُ الْقَوْمِ فَأَهَابُ
أَنْ أَتَكَلَّمَ فَلَمَّا سَكَتُوا قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم
" هِيَ النَّخْلَةُ " . Sahih
Muslim 2811 b
What are the rights of the Elderly:
1.
Respect
2.
Good treatment
3.
Give them salaam first
4.
Speak nicely to them
5.
Let them speak first, sit
first, eat first, enter first, offer the siwak to them first.
6.
Look after their situation
and help them with their weakness
7.
Make du’aa for them
8.
It is impossible to fulfil
the rights of the parents (no matter how hard you try)
The Rights of the Elderly:
1. Respect
Anas bin Malik رضي الله عنه narrated that:
"An older man came to talk to the Prophet, and the
people were hesitant to make room for him. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: He is not one of us who does not
have mercy on our young and does not respect our elders."
قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَنَسَ بْنَ مَالِكٍ، يَقُولُ جَاءَ
شَيْخٌ يُرِيدُ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَأَبْطَأَ الْقَوْمُ عَنْهُ أَنْ يُوَسِّعُوا
لَهُ فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم " لَيْسَ مِنَّا مَنْ لَمْ يَرْحَمْ
صَغِيرَنَا وَيُوَقِّرْ كَبِيرَنَا " .
Jami`
at-Tirmidhi 1919
2. Good
treatment
Aboo Moosaa رضي الله عنه narrated that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
“Verily, among the acts of venerating Allaah, are honouring
the elderly Muslims, the one who has memorized the Qur’aan who avoids going to
extremes with it or who neglects it and the one in authority”
وعن أبي موسى رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسول الله
صلى الله عليه وسلم: "إن من إجلال الله تعالى إكرام ذي الشيبة المسلم، وحامل
القرآن غير الغالي فيه، والجافي عنه وإكرام ذي السلطان المقسط" ((حديث حسن
رواه أبو داود)).(Abu Dawood 4843).
3. Give
them salaam first
Narrated Abu Hurayrah رضي الله عنه :
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)
said, "The younger person should greet the older one, and the walking
person should greet the sitting one, and the small number of persons should
greet the large number of persons." Sahih al-Bukhari 6234
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم
" يُسَلِّمُ الصَّغِيرُ عَلَى الْكَبِيرِ، وَالْمَارُّ عَلَى الْقَاعِدِ، وَالْقَلِيلُ
عَلَى الْكَثِيرِ ".
4. Speak
nicely to them (Call him by saying ‘O Uncle! يا عمِّ)
Narrated Abu Bakr
bin `Uthman bin Sahl bin Hunaif رضي
الله عنه: that
he heard Abu Umama saying: We prayed the Dhuhr prayer with `Umar bin `Abdul
`Aziz and then went to Anas bin Malik and found him offering the `Asr prayer. I
asked him, "O uncle! Which prayer have you offered?" He said 'The
`Asr and this is (the time of) the prayer of Allah’s Apostle which we used to
pray with him."
قَالَ أَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ عُثْمَانَ
بْنِ سَهْلِ بْنِ حُنَيْفٍ، قَالَ سَمِعْتُ أَبَا أُمَامَةَ، يَقُولُ صَلَّيْنَا مَعَ
عُمَرَ بْنِ عَبْدِ الْعَزِيزِ الظُّهْرَ، ثُمَّ خَرَجْنَا حَتَّى دَخَلْنَا عَلَى
أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ فَوَجَدْنَاهُ يُصَلِّي الْعَصْرَ فَقُلْتُ يَا عَمِّ، مَا هَذِهِ
الصَّلاَةُ الَّتِي صَلَّيْتَ قَالَ الْعَصْرُ، وَهَذِهِ صَلاَةُ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى
الله عليه وسلم الَّتِي كُنَّا نُصَلِّي مَعَهُ.
Sahih al-Bukhari
549
5. Let
them speak first, sit first, eat first, enter first, offer the siwak to them
first.
`Abdullah
bin Sahl and Muhaiyisa bin Mas`ud bin Zaid set out to Khaibar, the inhabitants
of which had a peace treaty with the Muslims at that time. They parted and
later on Muhaiyisa came upon `Abdullah bin Sahl and found him murdered
agitating in his blood. He buried him and returned to Medina. `Abdur Rahman bin
Sahl, Muhaiyisa and Huwaiuisa, the sons of Mas`ud came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and `Abdur Rahman intended to talk, but the Prophet (ﷺ) said (to him), "Let the eldest of you speak." as `Abdur-Rahman
was the youngest. `Abdur-Rahman kept silent and the other two spoke… (Sahih
al-Bukhari 3173)
Maalik bin Maghool said, “I was walking with Talhah bin
Musraf. We came to a narrow path and he went ahead of me then said, ‘If I knew
that you were older than me by one day I would not have gone before you.”
(Al Khateeb
al Baghdaadee in al Jaami’ li Akhlaaq ar Raawee wa Adaab as Saami 1/285)
6. Look
after their situation and help them when they are weak
Look after their health, body and mind. Many youth are not
aware that the elderly are generally weak in their body (slow to move, small
things tire them), health and senses (sight, hearing).
Allah is He Who created you in (a state of) weakness, then
gave you strength after weakness, then after strength gave (you) weakness and
grey hair. He creates what He wills. And it is He Who is the All-Knowing, the
All-Powerful (i.e. Able to do all things).
[Room 30:54]
O mankind! If you are in doubt about the Resurrection, then
verily! We have created you (i.e. Adam) from dust, then from a Nutfah (mixed
drops of male and female sexual discharge i.e. offspring of Adam), then from a
clot (a piece of thick coagulated blood) then from a little lump of flesh, some
formed and some unformed (miscarriage), that We may make (it) clear to you
(i.e. to show you Our Power and Ability to do what We will). And We cause whom
We will to remain in the wombs for an appointed term, then We bring you out as
infants, then (give you growth) that you may reach your age of full strength.
And among you there is he who dies (young), and among you there is he who is
brought back to the miserable old age, so that he knows nothing after having
known. And you see the earth barren, but when We send down water (rain) on it,
it is stirred (to life), it swells and puts forth every lovely kind (of
growth).
[Hajj 22:5]
And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his
parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and
hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your
parents, unto Me is the final destination.
[Luqmaan 31:14]
'Abdullah bin 'Amr
bin Al-'As (May Allah be pleased with them) said:
The Messenger of
Allah (ﷺ) said, "He who desires to be rescued from the fire of Hell
and to enter Jannah, should die in a state of complete belief in Allah and the
Last Day, and should do unto others what he wishes to be done unto him."
وعنه قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم
: "من أحب أن يزحزح عن النار، ويدخل الجنة، فلتأته منيته وهو يؤمن بالله
واليوم الآخر، وليأتِ إلى الناس الذي يحب أن يؤتى إليه" ((رواه مسلم)).
[Muslim]
7. Make
du’aa for them
You should make du’aa for them:
1.
For a long life of
obedience to Allaah
2.
That they are successful
and
3.
That Allaah preserves them
4.
That Allaah grants them
good health and well-being
5.
That they have a good end
6.
That they are from those
about whom the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said when he was asked about the best of
people:
'Abdur-Rahman bin Abi-Bakrah narrated from his father that a
man said:
"O Messenger of Allah! Which of the people is the
best?" He said: "He whose life is long and his deeds are good."
He said: "Then which of the people is the worst?" He said: "He
whose life is long and his deeds are bad."
عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ أَبِي بَكْرَةَ،
عَنْ أَبِيهِ، أَنَّ رَجُلاً، قَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَىُّ النَّاسِ خَيْرٌ قَالَ
" مَنْ طَالَ عُمُرُهُ وَحَسُنَ عَمَلُهُ " . قَالَ فَأَىُّ النَّاسِ
شَرٌّ قَالَ " مَنْ طَالَ عُمُرُهُ وَسَاءَ عَمَلُهُ " .
Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2330
Sulaymaan bin ‘Abdullaah entered the masjid and found an old
man. He greeted him with salaam and said, ‘O so and so, do you like death?’ He
said, ‘no’. He said, ‘why?’ He said, ‘youth and its evil has gone; old age and
its good have come. When I stand I say ‘Bismillaah’ when I sit I say, ‘Alhamdulillah’.
I want this to remain like that.
This means he wanted to continue praising, remembering and
thanking Allaah. The evils of youth with desires and attraction to bad
situations has gone. The best of old age with its blessings has come. He lives
in a period where his time is coming to an end, he is close to leaving this
life so he remembers Allaah, thanks Him, praises Him, glorifies Him, says the
shahaadah and makes du’aa to Him. He wishes this to remain like that.
8. It is
impossible to fulfil the rights of the parents (no matter how hard you try)
Abu Hurayra
reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said,
"A child cannot repay his father unless he finds him as a slave and then
buys him and sets him free."
عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله
عليه وسلم قَالَ: لاَ يَجْزِي وَلَدٌ وَالِدَهُ، إِلاَّ أَنْ يَجِدَهُ مَمْلُوكًا
فَيَشْتَرِيَهُ فَيُعْتِقَهُ.
Al-Adab Al-Mufrad
10
********
وَإِن جَاهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِي
مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِي الدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا
ۖ وَاتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَيَّ ۚ ثُمَّ إِلَيَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم
بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ
But if they (both) strive with you to make
you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then
obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of
him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your
return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.
[Luqman 31:15]
Narrated Ibn `Umar:
The Prophet (ﷺ)
said, "While three persons were walking, rain began to fall and they had
to enter a cave in a mountain. A big rock rolled over and blocked the mouth of
the cave. They said to each other, 'Invoke Allah with the best deed you have
performed (so Allah might remove the rock)'. One of them said, 'O Allah! My
parents were old and I used to go out for grazing (my animals). On my return I
would milk (the animals) and take the milk in a vessel to my parents to drink.
After they had drunk from it, I would give it to my children, family and wife.
One day I was delayed and on my return I found my parents sleeping, and I
disliked to wake them up. The children were crying at my feet (because of
hunger). That state of affairs continued till it was dawn. O Allah! If You
regard that I did it for Your sake, then please remove this rock so that we may
see the sky.' So, the rock was moved a bit...” (Sahih al-Bukhari 2215)
وَلَوْ أَنَّا كَتَبْنَا عَلَيْهِمْ أَنِ
اقْتُلُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ أَوِ اخْرُجُوا مِن دِيَارِكُم مَّا فَعَلُوهُ إِلَّا قَلِيلٌ
مِّنْهُمْ ۖ وَلَوْ أَنَّهُمْ فَعَلُوا مَا يُوعَظُونَ بِهِ لَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَّهُمْ
وَأَشَدَّ تَثْبِيتًا (66) وَإِذًا لَّآتَيْنَاهُم مِّن لَّدُنَّا أَجْرًا عَظِيمًا
(67) وَلَهَدَيْنَاهُمْ صِرَاطًا مُّسْتَقِيمًا (68)
And if We had
ordered them (saying), "Kill yourselves (i.e. the innnocent ones kill the
guilty ones) or leave your homes," very few of them would have done it;
but if they had done what they were told, it would have been better for them,
and would have strengthened their (Faith);
And indeed We
should then have bestowed upon them a great reward from Ourselves.
And indeed We
should have guided them to a Straight Way.
[Nisaa 4:66-68]
[1] Points
selected and translated by Umm ‘AbdirRahmaan Tara Hashim 8/1440AH 17/4/2019CE
[2] Narrated
Abu ad Darda' رضي الله عنه:
I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) say: Look for
the weak people, for you are provided means of subsistence and will be helped
through your weak.
أَنَّهُ سَمِعَ أَبَا الدَّرْدَاءِ، يَقُولُ
سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ " ابْغُونِي الضُّعَفَاءَ
فَإِنَّمَا تُرْزَقُونَ وَتُنْصَرُونَ بِضُعَفَائِكُمْ " . قَالَ أَبُو دَاوُدَ
زَيْدُ بْنُ أَرْطَاةَ أَخُو عَدِيِّ بْنِ أَرْطَاةَ .
Sunan Abi Dawud 2594
Narrated Anas bin Malik رضي
الله عنه:
I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saying, "Whoever desires an
expansion in his sustenance and age, should keep good relations with his kith
and kin."
عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ ـ رضى الله عنه
ـ قَالَ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ " مَنْ سَرَّهُ
أَنْ يُبْسَطَ لَهُ رِزْقُهُ أَوْ يُنْسَأَ لَهُ فِي أَثَرِهِ فَلْيَصِلْ رَحِمَهُ
".
Sahih al-Bukhari 2067
Source in Arabic Click here
