When a Woman’s
Husband Passes Away – Points of Benefit
وَالَّذِينَ يُتَوَفَّوْنَ مِنكُمْ وَيَذَرُونَ أَزْوَاجًا
يَتَرَبَّصْنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍ وَعَشْرًا ۖ فَإِذَا بَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ
فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا فَعَلْنَ فِي أَنفُسِهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ ۗ
وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرٌ (234) وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا
عَرَّضْتُم بِهِ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ النِّسَاءِ أَوْ أَكْنَنتُمْ فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ ۚ
عَلِمَ اللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ وَلَٰكِن لَّا تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ
سِرًّا إِلَّا أَن تَقُولُوا قَوْلًا مَّعْرُوفًا ۚ وَلَا تَعْزِمُوا عُقْدَةَ
النِّكَاحِ حَتَّىٰ يَبْلُغَ الْكِتَابُ أَجَلَهُ ۚ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ
مَا فِي أَنفُسِكُمْ فَاحْذَرُوهُ ۚ وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ
234. And those of you who die and leave wives behind
them, they (the wives) shall wait (as regards their marriage) for four months
and ten days, then when they have fulfilled their term, there is no sin on you
if they (the wives) dispose of themselves in a just and honourable manner (i.e.
they can marry). And Allah is Well-Acquainted with what you do.
235.
And there is no sin on you if you make a hint of betrothal or conceal it in
yourself, Allah knows that you will remember them, but do not make a promise of
contract with them in secret except that you speak an honourable saying
according to the Islamic law (e.g. you can say to her, "If one finds a wife
like you, he will be happy"). And do not consummate the marriage until the
term prescribed is fulfilled. And know that Allah knows what is in your minds,
so fear Him. And know that Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Forbearing. [Suratul
Baqarah 2:234-235]
Umm 'Atiyyah
narrated: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "It is
not lawful for a lady who believes in Allah and the Last Day, to mourn for more
than three days for a dead person, except for her husband, in which case she
should neither put kohl in her eyes, nor perfume herself, nor wear dyed clothes,
except a garment of 'Asb" Saheeh al Bukhari 5342.
العِدَّة al ‘iddah comes from the root word ع دد meaning ‘to count’.
A woman who loses her husband is referred to as a ‘widow’ in
English and الأرملة (al armalah) in Arabic. She’s also
referred to as المعتدة mu’tadah while she is in her ‘iddah. The time
period is also referred to as الحداد al Hidaad – mourning.
Length of the ‘Iddah: 4 months and 10 days [2:234] or
until a pregnant woman gives birth [65:4].
Ruling of the ‘Iddah: Waajib Obligatory
Where: The house of her husband (unless there is a
valid reason to stay somewhere else).
The Wisdom behind the ‘Iddah (Waiting Period for the
Widow)
The greatest aim of the ‘iddah is a preservation of the
husband’s right - separate to knowing whether the widow is expecting or not. Due
to this the ‘iddah is counted in months and it is obligatory upon the one who
did not have marital relations. This is an act of worship preserving the
husband’s right. It is also a manifestation of losing him.
Shaykh Bin Baz answered a question saying:
The ‘Iddah waiting period is a time period that Allaah has
legislated after divorce and after the death of a husband due to wisdom and for
many reasons - not only to ensure the womb is empty. One reason is to ensure
the womb is empty so as not to mix up the fluids in the womb and confuse the
lineage. Another reason is to respect the deceased and that a sacredness for
him remains in the self of the wife. It is a protection for her from looking at
(other) men straight after his death. …..Al ‘Allaamah Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله indicated other reasons and wisdom of the ‘iddah
in his book ‘Ilaam al Muwaqqi’een as did many others from Ahlul ‘Ilm.
In another answer he stated:
Allaah legislated the ‘iddah for many benefits:
1.
One of them is the effect
of the husband’s departure.
2.
There is a gap until the
next husband. This is from the deceased husband’s right and the sacredness of
his marriage. This is to protect the husband that he does not have a child
ascribed to him that does not belong to him.
What is a
Woman in her ‘Iddah allowed to do after the death of her husband?[1]
|
Allowed
|
Examples for Allowed acts
|
Not Allowed
|
1
|
Any colour clothing as long as it is not considered beautiful.
|
|
Beautiful attractive clothing.
|
2
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Using perfume upon finishing her menses.
|
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Perfume or incense
|
3
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A watch for telling the time and not a watch as jewellery
|
|
jewellery
|
4
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To go out in the day time for a need or an emergency.
|
-If no one to go shopping for her.
-If she needs to go to the doctor’s.
-If she is working and needs to complete her contract.
-If she needs to go to the bank or courts to sort out paperwork.
|
To go out in the day or night without a need.
|
5
|
To go out at night in an emergency.
|
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To visit family and friends
|
6
|
To attend her husband’s funeral
|
|
Weddings, family gatherings
|
7
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To have a bath, use soap
|
|
To visit the sick including her own son unless she becomes so worried
she visits to alleviate her worries.
|
8
|
change her clothes
|
|
To attend the ‘Eid prayer.
|
9
|
Cut nails and hair
|
|
To go on ‘Umrah or Hajj
|
10
|
To go out in her yard or on her roof.
|
|
Taraaweeh
|
11
|
To talk on the phone
|
|
Use henna
|
12
|
To talk to men for a need
|
|
Use kohl
|
13
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Housework, cook, clean
|
|
Not allowed to get engaged or get married
|
Superstitions
or traditions not based upon the Qur’aan and Sunnah and are not correct:
1.
Must wear black only.
2. Cannot speak to men on the phone.
3. Cannot go out even for a need.
4. Cannot walk barefoot.
5. Cannot go outside in the moonlight.
6. Cannot have a bath more than once a week.
7.
Not allowed to do household
chores.
Imaam ibnul Qayyim said[2]:
“This (the widow’s mourning over her late husband) indicates
the perfection and wisdom of the Islamic Shari’ah (Islamic Law) and how it
thoroughly looks after the interests of Muslims. Mourning the deceased
signifies the big disaster of death which people used to exaggerate excessively
during the Pre-Islamic Period of Ignorance (the Jahiliyyah). During such days,
the widow used to stay in the worst and smallest house, without touching
perfumes, applying oil to her body, taking a bath or suchlike acts that
indicate dissatisfaction with the Divine Predestination. Out of His mercy,
Allaah, Exalted be He, has nullified this way of mourning observed by the
people of the Pre-Islamic Period of Ignorance (the Jahiliyyah), and substituted
patience, thankfulness, and turning back to Allaah by saying ‘Indeed, we belong
to Allaah and indeed to Him we will return.’ Since the disaster of death
naturally causes pain and sadness to the people of the deceased, Allaah, the
Wise, the Acquainted, allows them (the relatives other than the wife) to show
only a few signs of mourning, that last for three days only in order to provide
them with comfort and release their sadness. So mourning is prohibited after
these three days as it is considered a prospective evil. What is meant here is
that Allaah permits women to mourn over their deceased, other than the husband,
for three days. However, mourning over the husband is related to the waiting
period as it is considered of its necessities and complementary practices.”
“A woman needs to adorn herself to be lovely for her
husband. When he dies and she is still in her waiting period and cannot be the
wife of another man, she must be prevented from doing what a woman does for her
husband, in order to observe the right of the deceased husband by preventing
herself from another man until the decreed waiting period ends. This also helps
block the means to desire men or be desired by men if she adorns herself.”
Sources
The Noble Qur’aan
www.Sunnah.com
Shaykh Bin Baz
Shaykh Fawzaan Mulakhas al Fiqhi
Fiqh of iddah https://www.ahlalhdeeth.com/vb/showthread.php?t=84984
المرأه التي في الحداد هل تصلي التراويح
في المسجد ؟ الشيخ صالح الفوزان
محمد بن عثيمين حكم خروج المعتدة من وفاة
للمحكمة أو للمستشفى لزيارة ابنها المريض
هل يجوز للمرأة أن تصلي على زوجها الميت
في المسجد للشيخ صالح بن فوزان الفوزان
أحكام الحداد على الزوج - الشيخ ابن عثيمين
هل يجوز للمرأة المتوفى زوجها أن تخرج من
بيتها أثناء العده- الشيخ صالح الفوزان
Fatwa in English regarding the Mourning period
Shaykh ‘Uthaymeen’s benefits based on the aayah 2:234 https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxqJaAIyTnkoMkFDaHNVdGpQWW8/view?usp=sharing
حكم خروج المحادة من بيتها لغير ضرورة